Guru Bashing: So Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?

Off and on over the past year, a new trend has appeared: Guru Bashing.

I've sat back, agreed with some and often shook my head at other posts -- especially since many of the bashers are also gurus.

Enough.

Seriously...I've had enough. 

Right here, right now, I'm making (and taking) a stand.

It's not the gurus' fault, it's not the small biz owner/entrepreneur's fault. It's everyone's fault.  

We've all, collectively, let things get out of hand:

1. Insane pricing.  Yes, it's true. . .each of us has the ability to provide information which could change someone's life, it doesn't mean that we have the "responsibility" to charge more than a car or house for the knowledge or else be considered "less than" and "lacking in abundant mindset".
2. Paying up to $3000 (sorry, $2997) for a 2-3 day workshop which promises to change your life/business forever and which usually ends up being a huge reunion of people who were there last year. . .and the year before, theoretically learning the same life and business changing info -- it's hard to blame the guru if you're eagerly forking over your credit card.
3. Operating pyramid-style marketing models which ensure that only those paying ridiculous amounts have access to the person delivering the service (and "yes", coaching IS a service), as they eagerly share their mission of helping "thousands/millions" of women/entrepreneurs/business owners (fill in the blank).
4. Supporting #3 above by purchasing again and again -- taking out new credit cards, using savings or drawing on home equity to buy into the dream, thus rewarding this model while wondering where the 6-figure "paydays" are.
5. Buying into the dream, living "as if" (e.g. joining outrageously-priced programs which require staying at high end resorts/hotels & having no money for implementation) so much so that today, the "here and now" is ignored and the dream lifestyle is lived while you struggle to pay the mortgage.

While we could easily fill pages with these examples, this isn't meant to be another bashing. 

It's meant to call attention to the fact that we're all collectively responsible. 

My request to each person who reads this post:

• Choose your dream -- not someone else's -- and create a plan to achieve it.
• Acknowledge AND accept that you have to start where you are, right now, today before you can move forward.
• When thinking about joining a new program, attending an event, etc., give yourself time and space to consider your decision.  Find your "sweet spot" between not making an instant, emotionally-based, NLP-inspired decision and acting quickly.
• Embrace responsibility for everything in your business, and life, -- you have the ability to realize your dreams, go for them!

And, above all, know your "reason why" and let it pull you forward as you use your unique gifts to serve clients and create your lifestyle business.

Comments

[Michelle]

Thank you, Sandra, for acknowledging that it's okay to have a different style of dream!

The guru bashing drives me crazy as well - it's not completely their fault if I'm the one handing over my credit card. :) We've got to take responsibility for our own decisions. Maybe it's worth $5,000 and a great investment. Maybe it's not. Either way you're right - we've all got to embrace responsibility for ourselves.

[Peggie]

I want to cry because this is SOOO true.

there's no need for blame.

we MAKE choices. We make choices about watching tv or not, voting for one candidate or not and a million others each day.

When you consistently choose based on groupthink not "me think" you can't blame the "guru" for getting rich.

The market will always bear what the market will bear....that's capitalism and I'm glad of it. but we each have the right to pay or not for what we most want or need...not my job to decide what you need and what your budget is...whether I'm selling dog-walking or coaching.

With all that said - it's my choice -- if I feel HORRID after listening to someone's not so vaguely masked sales pitch on a "free life-changing call" that's not because I'm not abundant enough in my thinking. It's my GUT telling me that I feel bad. That's a sign that it's not a fit -- someone else may feel GREAT when they hear that same call and they will make another choice.

Listen to your gut, your heart, your mind and spend accordingly.

Thanks so much for this !

[Sandra Martini]

Hi Michelle,

That's exactly it! Many programs and services are well worth the investment -- IF you know why you're joining and you have clear expectations of what you want from them (and share those with the host).

And it's all about designing our own, individual and unique dream lives or, as my friend and client Leah Shapiro of www.DefyTheBox.com calls it, your "kick ass dream life". :-)

[Sandra Martini]

Hi Peggie,

SO true! In all things, trust your intuition -- there are some people who make me cringe, yet do very well because they resonate with others.

And others whom I absolutely adore, whether they're "known" or not.

It's about knowing who you are first and foremost and finding mentors and friends you resonate with.

Thanks for commenting!

With abundance,

Sandy :-)

[Cristina]

Great article! Each of us is responsible for our own choices and our own experiences. Create your own dream, do not buy someone else's and above all, know your "why". You could have the best guru in the world, but after all, you are the one that supplies the motivation and effort to make yourself successful. Your guru is not responsible for your effort. Just because you pull out the credit card does not guarantee success!
love and light,
Cristina

[Melissa McCreery]

You hit it out of the park again Sandy! Wonderful, honest, and very important post. We all function better, make better decisions, and play our best game when we start from a place of being GROUNDED. That includes being connected to ourselves, being aware of our unique circumstances (including finances) and needs, knowing OUR dream and goal, and making decisions proactively and not from fear. And it includes taking responsibility. Laying that foundation isn't as sexy sounding as some of these sparkly programs and I see so many harried entrepreneurs skipping this step. But I truly believe that that's the place to build from.
Keep calling it like you see it!

[tonia boterf]

I agree whole heartedly with your article, Sandy. As individuals, we make choices and have to take responsibility for them. But...we are influenced greatly by the targeted pyschological marketing tactics used so effectively that pray on our dreams of success.
So I have to end with how professional are the professionals who behave like sharks in their marketing, promises and prices?

[Catherine]

Sandy - so good to hear the truth. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves and what is right for us personally. It is hard to sometimes go against the flow, but if we are paying attention to our own dreams and wisdom then we can clearly know what is our own path.

[Deborah]

You made some excellent points here and I agree that we must be responsible. At the same time, it seems that a lot of these pitches are aimed at people with little or no experience out in the business world. When you don't know any better, anything sounds good. Also, if you are in a tough spot and someone says they have your answers, you'll listen in spite of your common sense. So, yes, we owe to ourselves to be aware. But I can't help but think many pitches are purposely aimed at those who are vulnerable.

[Kim Turcotte]

Sandy,

I continue to be impressed by your frank, honest and smart articles/posts.

I absolutely agree with everything you say. I have been feeling stuck recently because on one hand, everything I read/hear is all about CHARGING MORE (and if I don't, then I have a money block) but, I truly think that the prices I currently have set are the right range and fit for the clients I want to attract and the outcomes they can expect.

Bottom line, I am comfortable with my pricing and hesitated creating my next program because I didn't want to HAVE to charge more than I wanted to.

You have reminded me that it is MY business and I need to honor my own truth, expectations and pricing structure.

Thanks again for being who you are!

[Sandra Martini]

I just finished teaching my Totally Teleseminars program and was pleasantly surprised by all the new comments.

First, thank you Cristina, Melissa, Tonia, Catherine and Deborah for taking the time to share your thoughts!

I absolutely agree with each of you and it's important to note that some (certainly not all) people (whether "guru" or not) do employ every persuasive tactic in the book to encourage people to buy -- whether or not the program is right for them.

This is where it's so critical to be grounded, know what you want AND do your research. Try someone out with a lesser-cost program or product if you don't know them, ask them what results you can realistically expect and, if they start talking about you making "6 figures" overnight without knowing your personal circumstances, run.

:-)

[Verria Kelly]

Great post Sandy! I coach women on how to take control of their health and this is no different. People have always made money "selling" dreams to others, but you have to remember that the ultimate decision to write that big fat check is yours!

[Exprzit]

I have to say that I enjoyed the comments as much as the post. If those who responded here are representative of your overall group I am impressed.

[Nancy Marmolejo]

I love you when you're fuming mad, Sandy! :-)

Ultimately we are responsible for our own results. We are responsible for our buying decisions.

That being said, there are also people who tap into our inner feelings of insecurity and not deserving and then sell to us from that place. That's dangerous territory in my opinion and probably one of the reasons why guru bashing is on the rise.

Hell hath no fury like an entrepreneur scorned.

One more point: I've invested heavily in myself over the past year especially. And for me, it's been a huge pull to go for a bigger vision for my business, to monetize more wisely and to get out of my excuses. So in defense of the high end programs, if it's the right combination of skills and gives you the right motivation, then it can be the thing that completely transforms your situation.

[Dawn Richerson]

Sandy, I so appreciate your honesty and your willingness to step out and take a stand. When we stand in the ability to respond and accept that WE CHOOSE what is right for us, everything changes. Thanks for telling it like it is. Hope to meet you in person one day.

[ed]

Hi Sandy...blast from the past huh? Great to see and hear your passion lady!!! Keep up the great work...I love Wholefoods too, it's the land of beatutiul people who rarely smile...strange?

Anyway...I enjoyed
Ed
http://www.OfficeReadyNOLA.com

[Sandra Martini]

Hey Nancy,

Absolutely...high end programs, by definition, aren't "bad" or mistakes.

The important thing is to know what's right for you and, as with everything, do your homework.

It's important to be aware of the "persuasive tactics" (nicest way I can say it) that people use so you recognize when they're being used on you and you can choose to accept or walk away. As long as the choice is yours! :-)

[Sandra Martini]

Hi Dawn,

Thanks so much for visiting and sharing your thoughts -- I completely agree...it's about choice. Our choice to stand up and be responsible for ourselves and our businesses or our choice, by default, to be victims.

I'm looking forward to meeting you as well! :-)

[Andrea Costantine]

Great post Sandra. I've messaged you before about this guru phenomenon. Just today I was speaking to a friend of mine over lunch about our investments in some of these gurus. I've spent 3k for a few seminars, the biggest return on investment was the friendships - so how funny about the "reunions" you mention. Today when we discussed this we both agreed that it was our responsibility, but if we had the chance to do it over we would NOT chose to invest in these things.
Today I block most of these gurus from my awareness as it breaks my heart to see people taking out their wallets and not paying their mortgage. I call it the "celebrity coaching phenomenon." Meaning certain coaches give themselves celebrity status in order to charge crazy prices. Regardless, I take ownership of my choices, but if I could inspire others to hold on to their $ I would.
Also, can I have a garage sale of old products? I'd love to offload some of these! Of course, I'd only charge reasonable prices ;)

[Rosey Dow]

Thanks so much for being openly authentic. Truth be told, so many of the "gurus" we look up to are also trying to make their mortgage payments just like the rest of us.
Great article!

[Dr. Jennifer Howard]

Wow Sandy,
I really love how you take a stand and I love what you've said here. It seems like a ground swell of those of us that feel this way. I think the bubble is bursting for those kinds of programs. Although I understand the whys, it is painful to watch it from both sides.

I have a blog that will be posted tomorrow or Friday that speaks about this from a psychological and spiritual perspective. It's called The Seduction of Certainty. Love to get your feed back.
Thanks for being you!

[Heidi McCarthy]

Just want to add my "thank you" to all the rest. Big Hug to you Sandy!!!

[Jabez LeBret]

I am curious how many people posting on this make more than say $300,000 a year?

Coming from a corporate background I have to take a different angle on the "high price" coaching. It is called coaching is this world, in reality it should be viewed as consulting.

I am paying you x number of dollars in exchange for insight and experience that should save me money and make me money. This is a simple business transaction. No different than brining in a CRM consulting firm at a corporation to look into your business and deliver to you what your best practice should be.

The interesting thing about consulting in the business world is they do not do the work for you, just give you answers, more questions, and direction. It is your responsibility to capitalize on that information.

If you are building a business, is $20,000+ too much to spend on getting it right? And how much would you charge a company to come in and do a 3 day executive level training?? I would charge more than $3,000 per person myself.

Just a thought from the other angle. This is an investment in your business.

[Dorota]

I agree that just because someone has vital info that you need, it doesn't mean that they should charge you anything they want for it.

Great news is that if you look hard enough you can always find great coaching programs and services for a reasonable price.